Thursday, August 25, 2005
have i mistaken something?
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
haiz..yo everyone, i m back for this post only.. haha..amazing at how i can throw away wad happened yesterday just after 5 mins of cooling down..well something terrible happened yesterday.she said she could not commit.. and went on with her religious stuff..i didn't say cannot.. it's just that i find it ridiculous.. i cound not take it as the main reason for seperating..guess thats the end of a 2 week relationship..1st time.my heart stills hurts..although i tried to numb myself.. but..just thinking about that particular sms.. made me feel sad all over again..i keep questioning myself ever since i read that sms..is it my fault ? i didnt show enuff care and concern ? or smth else i did wrong ?my feelings now.. it's hard for me to describe in words..it's like, my heart shattered when i read that sms..haiz, very confused..now i m hurt both physically and mentally.sunburn + heartbreak = total pain + sadness = mood changehaiz.. guess numbing myself cannnot work anymore.. gotta find a new way..maybe killing myself ? haha... i'll take that into consideration :Ptata.. say0nara !
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this entire big chunk of words is adapted from fred's blog... hai.. so in the end i just mistook everything as him being understanding.. he cannot accept my reason.. he doesn't believe.. why doesn't he believe??? worst of all.. he mistook all this as it's his fault... it has nothing to do with all those things.. nothing at all.. why no one believes?? why why why..!?! numbing himself?? killing himself?? wad does all this mean?? msn nick " if it's your decision.. i have no objection".. ??? all this makes no sense at all.. everything is just contradicting.. why put up a strong front when u are actually not? why hide the emotions? think that it's the way of a saint to make others unaware of ur unhappiness?? how would others feel when the in the end found out the truth?? why give ppl the "hack care" attitude when u mind it alot?? why?!? all this are just ridiculous.. lame.. dumb.. think all this behaviour are cos of inner fear.. fear that ppl will use this weakness of u to attack u?? senseless.. all this are just insane.. hate it sooo much.. why must human hide their emotions?? why must they always show others the side they want others to see and not their real self?? all this.. all this... caused the world to be so ugly.. cos ppl to fear humanity.. and all this are saddening.. argh.. no mood to blog le.. shall come back again..
`iSplashed
@ 11:38 AM
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