i can be E V I L and
i can be S W E E T i'm not just anybody i'm me...
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
don know don know
haven's been blogging much lately cos like nothing very interesting and nothing to blog bout.. haha.. and also i don wan to keep blogging bout me and my darl la... if not u all will find it very boring... kinda find that i have lost the touch in blogging... arh... sickening... but trying and striving hard to keep this blog alive... i will 'train' myself to pick this skill once again... haha... think maybe because i have lost the interest to crap??? find myself pretty unlike the sec sch life me... ha... wonder if it is something good or bad... kind of lost communicating and socialising skills... once a gal who yearns to have abundant friendships... back to one who think keeping afew is enough... i have kind of isolated myself again?? i lost the will and need to make new friends... wonder if it is cos i have found someone who i think is enough for me to spend my life with solely?? realised i have once again become the someone i once was... someone who keeps things to herself and still searching someone to tell it to... or maybe not so.. is i donno wad to tell the friends among me bout.. i lost the 'touch' to talk to them... and i am scared... i am scared of losing them.. we are on serperate paths now.. once good buddies may not seem as 'important' as before?? and this made us drift apart... even when we meet... there seem to be a barrier... this wall have set built unknowingly as time goes by... time is the thing that caused all this... once so ignorant me thought that friendships are easy to maintain... but it seemed not so now.. every single relation that has to do with human are hard to keep... even kinship... even though there is this bond flowing in the blood... there can be times when it fades till its seems like they are just aquaintances... even this natural relationship can fail... let alone the 'bondless' relationship that is built up from zero... no one can get the best of everything in the world... if u get more of this.. u will lose in that.. people gifted with a high IQ are loses out in EQ... and vice versa... it seems like u have to lose something in order to gain something.. this is like the rule of the game in this world... nothing seems to fail to reach this 'requirement'... am kind of lost at the moment... back to the phase when i feel so aimless... haha... anyway.. did this kind of stupid compatibility test today.. LOL... did it with my darl around... hmm... the result... i find it kinda accurate.. but wonder if the machine gives the same piece of analysis to everyone who takes the test la.. haha.. but it is interesting... and that darl seem to be so enthu.. keep asking me to concentrate... haha.. think maybe he scared later come out something bad then affect my mood.. ha... he really can tolerate the senseless me.. sometimes when i wanna share the feeling in a relationship with my frens... i really really wan to... but am so afraid that they will get irritated... how i hope they can find their true love soon... so they can share they same feeling as i am having now.. it's really something blissful.. something special... and we can share experiences together too... the pains.. the joy... ha... not for comparison of cos... but to share the joy and woes... but... ha... so afraid that they will get the wrong meaning and think that i am trying to 'show off'... loving is really not easy... it's kinda like a form of study.. different ppl requires diff things... so u have to kind of like learn up a diff thing to love the other person... but there are some concepts that are still the same.. like the basics... trust... accommodation... respect... support... etc etc etc... they are really important... that's why ppl saying that they ai de hen xing ku... cos there are alot of things to take care of to make the relationship going and moving... ha... arh... am still learning hard and trying... haha... i will continue de... jiayou!!! frens... i will also try to find time for all of u... don forget bout me okie... =)
Make ur Choice:
friendly/mean
evil/sweet
caring/bully
dull/unique
hardworking/lazy
strong/weak
brave/coward
blessed/jinx
My Blessings:
#01 lovely HDB to stay in
#02 loving darl EMAN to accompany me
#03 a crazy freaky sister to bully
#04 my parents own a stall that sells good food. yum YUM!
#05 ex-bf that made my relationship interesting
#06 dear girls sticking by me through all times
#07 YUZHEN! u are such a dear
#08 CHINGHUI(ah bu) thanks for all the shopping and k-box trips
#09 my ah bu family who accompany through my sec sch days
#10 my looks are OKAY. not handicapped.
#11 not a genious but brain functioning properly
#12 health OKAY!!!
#13 not being filthy rich but have enough to feed me
#14 met good enough bosses??? at least that gary still not that freaking evil